Someday...

So things have been out of control lately. I need to get a grip again. I feel like all of a sudden everything escaped me in the blink of an eye.

I wonder if forgiveness is real or if it is just something we are taught? I know at Sadie's daycare when she does something wrong to someone she is supposed to give the other person a forgiveness token but I just wonder if she is learning all of this in vain. I wonder if she is going to grow up to be like others and never forgive people. Hold grudges against them and only see the bad. I wonder is she is going to make the same mistakes that I did and never rid herself of the depression and angst that follows. I hope not. No, I pray not. I pray with every bit of my being that she lives a life that is a 1000x better than mine and that she has a 1000x more. This cycle of low self esteem, addiction and misery has to stop and I hope it stops with her. I hope she has an open heart and sees the good in others and forgives the bad. I truly hope she does.

I still cope everyday with forgiving myself and learning to move on. It is harder than it seems. It is even harder to struggle with where you want to be. I feel like right now all of the choices I make are going to effect my future but is it worth maintaining status quo to still be miserable at the end of the day? I just don't know. Of course though I blame myself and on one end I tell myself I deserve it. I know that may not be right but I think I have done nothing to deserve anything different so maybe that is right? My thoughts are convoluted on that subject. I really don't know.

Will anything ever live up to what I thought it would be? Will life ever be what I dream of or is that truly only for thoes lucky enough to be born into it? I just hope someday I find out.

Grief

How do you explain grief over something you never knew, never held, never touched or kissed?

I just want to breakdown every time I think about it.

I will never know if it was a boy or girl.

If it would have looked like Sadie.

It's little smile.

I will never get to hug my little one or smell that baby smell.

I know the little one is in a better place and someday I will be with him/her I guess I just don't understand why that time couldn't be now? Why was I teased with another little being only to have it ripped away? The excitement, anticipation, happiness that comes with a new baby...gone.

Slacker

So I am a complete blogging slacker.

Things happening in our life since April.

I have a new job which I just adore.

Steve has a new position at work.

We have successfully planted a ball of cells in my uterus.

Sadie is amazing and can pretty much carry on a conversation.

I am returning to school to keep on pursuing my masters in HR.

I am in love with pop music.

We are looking for a new car.

My bff is still my bff through thick and thin.

I love caffeine.

I have learned that sadly friends are more dependable then family.

Life is busy but good.

The Big Red Box

So a big red box was sitting on my doorstep yesterday. I was so excited I could hardly stand it. I have been selected to host an in home Disney party. It is awesome that I was selected because Disney is really something I am so passionate about that I love telling everyone I know about my love and admiration for all things Disney. So whats up with the big red box you ask? Inside were goodies so good I could not believe it. Here is a run down.

• Envelope with instructions
• Canvas Totes for everyone
• A special Mickey Mom's tote for me
• Goodie bags
• Wish maker craft
• Disney trivia craft
• Planning DVD
• Drawings to give as gifts to the guests with all the Disney princesses (I will be framing mine)

So I guess if I can not be a member of the Disney Moms panel, this is the next best thing.

Happy Birthday Sadie

So two years ago today, I became a mommy. Time flies. I can not believe she is 2 already. I am so grateful she picked me to be her mommy. I love you Sadie.

It's been way to long

Way to long since I have posted a blog that is! Everything is happening so fast and we have been so busy. My new job is going great and Sadie is just incredible. I finally have a full time job and I am so thankful to God for it.

Stupid Computer

So our stupid computer broke, costing us $300 to fix! They said our hard drive was completely shot, how does this happen? We do not do anything crazy on the laptop except surf the web and maintain my itunes, I don't download music or anything. Amazing how our entire budget can be blown on one adorable pink laptop. Dave Ramsey, what do we do?

New Words

Sadie has a ton of new words and is getting good about repeating when we prompt her to say something. Here are some favorites...

Bike
Batch (mommys badge)
Peesaaa (pizza)
Me do (when she wants to do something)
Henny Menny (Handy Manny)
Pasickelll (popsicle)
Saycks (socks)
Eye You (I love you)
Wawa (wallet)
Heeeeeep (help)
Yami (salami)

She is also beginning to string 2 or 3 words together like "Oh no, baba" when her cup leaks or "Big dog" when she sees the neighbor dog, she can count to 3, say her A, B, C's up to C, recognize shapes such as circle and triangle, colors such as red, blue, and yellow, and identify Disney characters such as Mickey, Minnie, Donald Duck and Pluto. My little girl is growing up!

Inspired

So this week is the start of a new us. A new family. A new lifestyle. New ways with money. We have been reading Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover and feel inspired to change our lives. We really need to get out of debt and set aside some money for our future. So today is the start. Off on a new journey. I also want to not only be financially fit but physically too. So I told Steve that since I do not want to miss a moment with he and Sadie that I will start going to the gym when Sadie goes to bed. We will see how good I get at this but I am hoping for the best. Today, Steve met me up at Partridge Creek and took me out to lunch at California Pizza Kitchen. Although not the most financially sound decision, it really made his wife happy inside. New job, new finances, new decisions, new physical appearance, a new start.

Work

So far my new j-o-b is awesome. I love it and the people are super nice. Today is only my 4th day on the job but I feel like I fit right in.

New Job

So today is my second to last day at my currrent job and I am excited/scared/nervous to go on to my new role. I feel like I am finally just getting this job and now I am leaving. I am glad to get a fresh start though and it will be great to do something in healthcare and now that I have the HR fundamentals under my belt I am good to go.

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Sugar Pop Ribbons and Crazy Dog T-Shirts

So I won a giveaway! I was so excited to win a FREE Crazy Dog T Shirt from http://sugarpopribbons.blogspot.com/. This cute little site features great giveaways yes again they are all legitimately FREE. I ended up picking a Dunder Mifflin T shirt from my favorite show, The Office. Here it is in real life.
I requested a size M and it fits perfectly on my typically size L frame. The shirt is made of a heavyweight material and I have already washed it a few times and the print is as good as new. I love it and I love that I now report to Michael Scott.

So go and enter some giveaways at http://sugarpopribbons.blogspot.com/ and buy a t shirt fromhttp://www.crazydogtshirts.com/servlet/StoreFront and be cool like me.

Free Excedrin!

Just go to the link below and click on any of the pain relievers EXCEPT Excedrin and you will get a coupon in the mail valued up to 5.99 for a bottle of Excedrin!

http://www.excedrin.com/offer.shtml

Love it!

DiGiorno House Party

So on Sunday, January 24, 2010 I hosted a Digiorno House Party! I was selected as a host from http://www.houseparty.com/ which has a ton of awesome house parties you can sign up to be a part of.

Along with the house party came a party kit! When the box arrived at my door I was so excited to open it and see all the little goodies. Here is what was inside....

It all came in this adorable pizza box!

A pot holder
Pizza Cutter

A magnetic clip

Ton of beaded necklaces
Stickers

Coupons for free pizza and $4.00 for our guests

This house party was a lot of fun and we really enjoyed the DiGiorno pizza. The pizza definitely has a taste that would make you not believe it was a from your local grocery store. The crust is very soft, fluffy and is filled with spices that are just fabulous. The pizza rises so it is not like your typical frozen pizza that really has nothing to it. We typically did not buy DiGiorno but we now are totally addicted to it!

Diapers.com Review

I even loved their logo...

So I found a code for Diapers.com so decided to try it out one time. Boy was I impressed. What was I thinking going to the store every time I was out of diapers or wipes??? The service was great and I can not say enough great things about it. I placed my order on a Friday and had it by Monday! I could not believe it was there so fast. When I opened the box, everything was packaged so neatly and my order was exactly as I had made it. One of the great things about diapers.com for me is that I have to plan ahead to make sure my order is done in time so I don't run out of diapers or wipes. For me this is great because I am a planner and I will never have to be in the middle of changing Sadie only to find my diaper caddy empty. I will NEVER buy diapers or wipes in the store again!

Sadie at 22 Months

So I have not blogged in forever.

Forgive me?

Just getting back into the groove of things after vacation and still trying to conquer the cold/sinus infection I brought home with me.

So Sadie turned 22 months on February 8, 2010.

She is so much fun and just growing more and more everyday. She is still not talking much but we are working with her on it and she is catching on little by little. When we ask her to say her name she says "sssssssssssssssssssssss." Cute, but we are working on adding the -adie to it too. She has shown a little bit of interest in the potty and hopefully things will go smoothly in that area. She really likes to be involved in everything and we really try to let her be. She is starting to love movies and recently became fascinated with Finding Nemo. She is a sweetie and I am honored to watch her grow up.

Florida Vacation Recap

So on about day 4 our trip took a turn for the worse. What was there in group dynamics just completely fell apart and the tension in the house was so thick you could cut it with a knife. People were mad, people were sad, people were caddy and it was just a mess.

So on day 4 we did Magic Kingdom with the family. We ended up making it on time (barely, since we had morning breakdowns to deal with) to our character breakfast at Liberty Tree Tavern. It was so delicious! The best part was being in the park before opening and just seeing the serenity and beauty of the Magic Kingdom. I will never forget it. The breakfast consisted of bread, fruit, meats, eggs and an incredible apple/french toast casserole which was to die for. We ate and ate and ate till we couldn't anymore. After breakfast we fought the crowds coming in to get to the back to the front of the park for Sadie's haircut. There was a line out the door of course so Steve stood in line while my mom tried to get there. In the background of all of this another argument was ensuing. My mom arrived and we still had to wait about 15 minutes for Sadie's turn. Sadies barber was Michael and he was just awesome. He talked to Sadie and gave her a ton of stickers to play with so she was happy. He wrapped all of her hair up so gently and she looked adorable when she was done. It was a success! So when we were through there we all headed over to Adventureland to ride Pirates. We pretty much walked on but poor Sadie was scared the whole time. After the ride, I decided to take Sadie over to Fantasyland to let her run around while everyone else stayed to ride Jungle Cruise. Sadie and I stopped over at Aloha Isle for a dole whip and she loved it! We went over to Fantasyland and rode the carousel and Sadie was so cute on it. We then went over and played in Pooh's Playful Spot for a bit till Steve came and met up with us and took us on the Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh ride. My mom and the rest of the group rode Small World. Well, we all met up again and decided to head home for our break. That night Steve and I came back without Sadie and did some more of Liberty Square and Frontierland before leaving right before the evening fireworks.

On day 5 We went to New Smyrna beach and it was pretty fun. Jodie (my aunt), Megan and Ethan (my cousins) went along with us so it was nice to spend some silly time together. It was VERY windy out so that gave a little nip in the air but in all it was a nice day to take a little walk along the shore. We stopped at a tacky T Shirt shop before hand and scored some tacky beach shirts and towels, I loved it! Afterward, we stopped at the cemetary to see my dad and then headed home. In the evening my grandma decided to go to Downtown Disney with us for some shopping, choo choo riding and ice cream eating! It was a great time.

Day 6 we did Epcot with the whole family. We got in about 15 minutes before park opening and headed straight to Soarin'. I stayed outside with Sadie while the rest of the group rode. I felt brave so I decided to take Sadie over to meet some characters and boy was I glad I did. Turns out she is not completely terrified anymore! We were able to score some awesome photos of her with them and she even touched Donald Duck. It was one of the most amazing moments. So after that I took her over by the Nemo exhibit to take some photos while we waited for everyone to get done on Soarin'. When everyone was done, my mother-in-law took Sadie and the rest of us headed over to do test track and mission space. It was a fun time. Well, then we went back to do Nemo, where another fight broke out (long story). Sadie loved this attraction and loved looking at the dolphins afterward. We then went over to Imagination to wait for my aunt, uncle and cousins to get there and while we were waiting we took Sadie by the dancing fountains which she loved to touch. Well, when my family got there we split up and Steve and I took Sadie on Imagination while everyone else went in to see honey I shrunk the audience. Sadie loved Imagination at first, until the end when the big puff of air comes and then she was terrified! Poor thing. So then after that we left for our afternoon break at home.

When we returned, my mom took Sadie to dinner at Biergarden with her and the family. Steve and I opted to skip the meal to save some money. Steve and I were able to do Soarin' and the Sum of all Thrills before we had to pick Sadie up in Germany. We got our babe and walked the promenade, it was beautiful. We went back to the house and had spaghetti for dinner, it was delicious.

On our last day, Day 7, we did Magic Kingdom for the last time. We started out with Space Mountain and did the Tomorrowland Transit Authority and Buzz Lightyear. We then went over to Frontierland and tried to do Big Thunder but it was closed for the time being so we just got a fastpass for that one. We then did Mickey's Philarmagic and did some shopping before heading out for the day. After a mid day break we went to the Wilderness Lodge for dinner at Whispering Canyon. It was the night of our fireworks cruise and I was so excited. The food (I had the skilled) was for the most part very good and the servers were entertaining. Not to mention the Wilderness Lodge in itself was beautiful. We went out for our cruise about 7:00 and checked in with our captain, Aimee. She was just great! She made the whole experience that much better and gave us quite a bit of fun facts and trivia. The view from the water was beautiful and so peaceful. Seeing Wishes from the boat nearly brought me to tears and it was a great way to end our vacation. The cruise was amazing!
Day 8 we finally left. It was bittersweet. I wanted to go so badly because I was just so unhappy but deep down I wanted a redo. I wanted to start all over and do it again, this time it would be right. Well, I guess there are no redos in life right? So we spent the day with Megan in the morning we took her out to Downtown Disney for lunch and to ride the choo-choo with Sadie. She was a very happy girl. I was a very tired girl. We ate at Earl of Sandwich again, which was delicious, and bought $30 worth of candy from Goofy's candy shop. We ended up skipping Ghirardellis because we were too full and too busy trying banana splits made with Jelly Belly's. We met up with Jodie and dropped Megan off then headed back home. When we got home we were all physically and mentally so exhausted that we just decided to order pizza. We took Sadie with us and decided to stop at a tacky t shirt shop on the way home. Well, that was a big mistake. Apparently that one extra stop made the entire house outraged again with worry since my mom and I both forgot our phones. It was a never ending battle. We packed up and got to the airport. Luckily Sadie was in a good enough mood that she stayed in her stroller the whole time before the flight so we walked around to get some last minute photos. On the flight Sadie didn't bounce around as much and ended up falling asleep about 45 minutes before we landed back in Flint. We arrived home at 1 a.m.